Would You Rather Own: Land Yachts for Different Gangsters (Op. 4)

"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty) 01/18/2014 at 12:55 • Filed to: would you rather own, wyro, w126, mercedes, cadillac, de ville

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The result !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , in which a 308 GTS QV was pitted against a Testarossa, the Testarossa won by a long shot. The cars today are far more attainable, luxurious land yachts: an M103-powered, classy W126 300SEL and a hulking 425-powered '79 Cadillac Sedan De Ville with EFI.

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To level the playing field a bit more, let's just say that this big-block Caddy has the 4-speed TMH200-4R (introduced in 1980) shared with the Grand National and Corvette swapped in. Now, both cars are massive 80s fullsize luxury sedans weighing around 4,000 pounds (the De Ville is in the 4,400 range while the Benz tips the scales at just under that, but the power difference makes up for any weight disparities), with enough space for plenty of dead bodies or bricks of coke, and plenty of style and even more comfort. The real decision is in the style and personality of the cars. The Cadillac is big, loud, ostentatious, and just what you would expect to come out of Detroit when someone asks 70s GM for a massive plush-mobile. The car is for anyone from an old man who dreamed of owning a Cadillac as a child to a wealthy southerner to a pimp to a mobster—however, it does not have many of the qualities you might want. It guzzles gas, does not have understated styling or precision in its engineering, has an dull and numb feel to drive, and a badge that does not appeal to the typical 80s yuppie. Enter: W126 300SEL. A Mercedes with the size of the Cadillac for nearly the same price. Sharp styling, better performance, and attention to every detail made a Mercedes far and away better than a boaty Cadillac built on a decades-old mentality of luxury.

While the 425-powered De Ville only shared one model year with the W126 (and the 300SEL was put on the market six years after that), it is now irrelevant in comparing these two cars. In fact, all aforementioned qualities are irrelevant; if you buy one of these cars today, it is because you are looking for a classic car. Making a reasoned decision is not why you would buy one of the behemoths. The Cadillac has character in droves, making it just as cool as the Mercedes in my book. It represents a time when automakers didn't care about making cars great, but only cool. You can't put a numerical value on the awesomeness of a car representing old Detroit. It's just something so American, so excessive, so half-assed, and so out of place. The Mercedes, on the other hand, has other merits. Clean styling, fantastic quality, and being both comfortable and nice to drive at once are qualities that make the W126 rival the emotional value the Cadillac has very competently.

To sum up this rambling comparison, the Mercedes is great and cool where the Cadillac is mediocre and awesome. The De Ville's 425 makes 195 HP, 320 ft/lbs, and a great V8 sound, while the 3.0L 12V SOHC M103 makes 177 HP and 188ft/lbs. So, you've made it this far down. Which of these fantastic 80s land barges would you rather own?

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Previous WYROs:

80s TV Ferraris Edition (Op. 3)

Manual Transmission vs RWD Edition (Op. 2)

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BMW Edition (Op. 1)

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PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 12:46

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I'd own the merc. Why? Because it is still the gangster's car of choice. It's the pack mule of many southern/eastern European mafias. The caddy is still a pimpin' car, but proper gangsters have moved on, to more sensible choices like chevy tahoes (see: Sopranos) and Lincoln town cars (see: any gangster movie filmed in NYC in the past 15 years

Dsscats > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 12:49

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Why not a 420, 500, or 560 SEL? Seems like a more fair comparison.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Dsscats 01/18/2014 at 12:52

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I still have a feeling that the W126 still gets more love. I made it a 300 so that it would level the playing field a bit more than the last one, besides for the purpose of making them similarly-priced. Otherwise, I would make it a V8 SEL.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 01/18/2014 at 13:09

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Definitively Eastern European mob. Southern/Southwestern mobs have moved on in the time.

PRBot II > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 13:15

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I'll take the Caddy, but I'd have to buy a lot more clothing from No Fear, MOB Inc., SRH, etc. And move to SoCal.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 13:16

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The W126 is so much better it's almost hard to believe the same race of living things made both of these things at the same time for the same purpose. That car will be around in a hundred years, and Mercedes will still probably be making replacement parts for it. It's classy, elegant, does everything well, reliable, and it's beautiful....in a big, German way. Easy pick.

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 13:18

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Isn't that Merc one of the few cars from that year that actually held up reasonably well?

If so I'd pick it for that reason. My birth was one of the worst years for cars in all of history. Almost everything made that year fell apart.

PatBateman > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 13:25

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I'll take the pristinely restored Caddy.

Because 'Muricah. Fuhgettaboutit.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Manuél Ferrari 01/18/2014 at 13:56

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Agreed. The only '79 American car I would really want is the 9C1 Malibu (with an LT-1 from the Z28 and sometimes a 4MT). The Foxbody was also pretty revolutionary, but '79 was far before that generation's prime.

There was also the Supra, but let's just say it was no JZA80.

heliochrome85 > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 01/18/2014 at 14:01

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THANK YOU SIR FOR HAVING TASTE AND CLASS

heliochrome85 > Dsscats 01/18/2014 at 14:02

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The answer was the 560SEL, because more is better

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 14:10

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That Malibu would be nice!

That supra is so funny looking!!

A 79 911 might be ok. Not sure if Porsche had fixed their late 70s rust issues by 79 yet

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Manuél Ferrari 01/18/2014 at 14:24

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I can't understand why they would style the car that way! Anyways, it turned out fine in the end. I would love a 911 of just about any year, although I can't get all that excited about the newer ones. By '79, the SC had just been introduced, so that could count for sure.

Manuél Ferrari > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 14:30

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My dad has a 82 SC

It's bullet proof !

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > heliochrome85 01/18/2014 at 15:25

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You are so welcome. I am glad you are also a gentlemen of similar taste and class. We should start a club.

AM3R > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 01/18/2014 at 22:50

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We are now known as the Extraordinarily gentlemenlike club of Oppositelock

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > AM3R 01/18/2014 at 22:55

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I whole-heartedly approve this message. What shall we do as the first club activity? I was thinking we could all get in our Bentley Turbo Rs that we all have and have a nice drive down the ocean and drink fine brandy while discussing mustache combs at great length.

AM3R > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 01/18/2014 at 23:01

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I was thinking we meet up in our E38 750Li's with the cigar holder option in the back seat and smoke only the finest Cubans imported.. And then drive out to our private airstrip and go see what all the fuss about the new M3/M4's is about.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > AM3R 01/18/2014 at 23:06

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That works too, I can do that. My E38 just came back from the detail shop today. I'll have my man at BMW make sure to get one M3 and M4 of every color there. Just in case.

AM3R > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 01/18/2014 at 23:15

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Ah thank you. Last time my BMW connection botched the order... He actually thought I would pick a 750i over a 750Li! What a peasent...

iDriveCode3 > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 01/18/2014 at 23:22

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My dad picked up a '74 Eldorado in the late 90's while I was in high school. I spent a lot of time behind the wheel of that thing. My only other driving experience at the time was our mid 90's Dodge Caravan, so I didn't have much to compare it to. Having never driven a Merc, I still can't make the comparison.

The Caddy was big, floaty, smooth but heavy, and I'm sure the handling was similar to maneuvering WWII dreadnaughts in open water gun battles. It leaked every fluid known to man. But it played 8-tracks, and I loved it. I loved the baby blue exterior, despite the oxidation and rust. The soft, blue interior juxtaposed to the rotting, cracked dashboard. The spoke wheels and whitewall tires, funky turn signals on top of the fenders, and hood that seemed to go on forever. Ash trays in the door handles covered in soot from the one previous owner, and my parents didn't smoke.

I haven't thought about that car in a long time. I was far from a car "enthusiast" when I was in high school; it's a part of my life I've only developed far into adulthood. But thinking back, I remember every detail about that car. And I'd take another similar aged Caddy again, just to plug in The Beatles, Tower Of Power, or The Steve Miller Band into that 8 track player, feel the reels engage, and warble out those oldies in their scratchy, magnetic glory. All while pushing the accelerator down of that 8.2L V8, ponies wasted going nowhere very fast.

heliochrome85 > AM3R 01/19/2014 at 00:36

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thank you both for finally understanding what I live with every day. MY LIFE IS HARD.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > AM3R 01/19/2014 at 13:57

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HAH! What a silly man. He probably also expects you to light your own cigars too!

AM3R > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 01/19/2014 at 15:15

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I know, right! I even have someone to hold my cigars... Can't risk injuring my check signing hand.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > AM3R 01/20/2014 at 14:43

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Exactly! And people think I'm crazy. I'm glad you understand.